I had a birthday. There was a cake, and it looked like sushi.
This is our new car. A 1968 Porsche 912. The bumper needs to be reattached, but otherwise it is my ultimate dream car.
All photos © Emily Shur 2008
I’ve been having a lot of conflicting feelings about life, mine to be exact, lately. I turned 32 recently (September 28th, if you want to mark it in your calendars for next year). Growing up, 32 was OLD. I thought I’d be married, have kids, have short mom-type hair, and that the fun part of my life would be a distant memory at this point. Little did I know that 32 isn’t old at all, but it is older. I am married. No kids though. I still have long hair….some of it is turning grey unfortunately. I dye the grey out. I mean, I wouldn’t want to look old, right? I have certain financial and personal responsibilities that come with age – a house, a dog, a car, running a “business”, making a living. I am very lucky in many respects. Everyone I truly care about is healthy. We are not in the midst of losing our house to foreclosure or anything like that. I have a wonderful husband, and a handful of wonderful friends. I guess my main beef with life right now, is that I feel slightly lost in my photography.
I debated whether or not I should write about this (publicly). I feared it might sound too negative, or come off as weak or whiny. I decided that I would write about it because, well, I want this blog to be sincere and to be an outlet for me and anyone who might want to know what it’s like to make a living with one’s art. I feel like I’m in one of those transitional periods where my work is shifting. This is a good thing I suppose, but I haven’t had too many opportunities to professionally showcase this shift. I also feel that in my work, I’m not getting the visual point I’m trying to make across, and I’m not 100% sure of what that point is anymore. Therein lies what I am guessing is the problem. I feel that all of my photography is intertwined in my brain. My editorial, commercial, and personal work all has to do with and is influenced by each other. I’ve been trying so hard to make a living as a photographer for the past 10 years that I think it has clouded my ability to shoot with a free mind. I’m always thinking about who will see this work, what can I do with it once it’s made…all the things I know I definitely should not be thinking about when I’m taking pictures. I need to get inspired and feel positive. I need to embrace the uncertainty of everything. Here’s to life with all of it’s greatness and bullshit – cheers.